The greatest gift you can impart to your children is a cluster of Christian values. I'm talking about such things as: honesty, courtesy, respect, responsibility, and gratitude. Dr. Roger L. Dudley says, "Our values determine all of life's significant choices--our response to the claims of God, our choice of career, our selection of a marriage partner, how we spend our money, our use of leisure time, and on and on. If youth learn to value wisely, they will find that the process develops mature, principled adults." Passing on the Torch, p. 19. How is this accomplished? It's a long process and you must begin early.

Honesty: Laurie had just returned from a shopping trip. Tommy, age four, had something in his pocket. "What's in your pocket, Tommy?" He looked sheepish and said, "A toy fire engine." "Where did you get it?" "I borrowed it from the store." "Tommy, that is called stealing. That's wrong. We do not steal! Come on, we are going back to the store and you are going to return the toy fire engine to the manager." Tommy held back, but Mother took him by the hand and kindly, but firmly, lead him back to the car. They drove to the supermarket and walked to the manager's office. "Sir, Tommy has something to say to you." "I'm sorry I took this toy fire engine. I won't do it any more." Tommy learned a valuable lesson that he would never forget.

Courtesy: Example is the best teacher. "Thank you, George, for holding the door open for Mother. You are a very thoughtful boy. It is hard to open a door with your arms full of packages." Be sure to let your children hear expressions as: "Excuse me," "Please," "Thank you," "May I help you?"

Sue asked, "Daddy, why did you pull Grandma's chair out from the table?" "Because," said Daddy, "that's the courteous thing to do." "What does courtesy mean?" asked four-year-old Larry. "Courtesy," replied Mother, "means doing kind things for others." Family conversations like this is the best way to teach.

Respect: Again, example is the most effective teacher. We all want our children to show respect for the aged, people who are handicapped, those of a different race, even animals. In a loud voice, Terry, age four, said, "Daddy, look at that fat woman --she needs to go on a diet." "Terry," said Daddy. "we never make fun of anyone. Now, tell the lady you are sorry for what you said." Terry looked down and mumbled, "I'm sorry, lady." "When we show respect for others --those who are ethnically different from us, or elderly, disabled, or in need--our children pick up on it and value the behavior. Respect for others is one of our essential values, and yet in the past few decades, we have let it slide. Hadn't we better change the selfishness of 'me generation' thinking to caring for others?" T. Brazelton, M.D., Family Circle, 7/15/97.

Responsibility: "Dad, may I borrow the car to attend the volleyball game this coming Sunday?" asked 17-year-old Jerry. Dad thought a moment and said, "Well, when will you leave and when will you be home?" "The game begins at 3:00 o'clock. I should be back by about 6:00 p.m." "Well, Jerry, you have demonstrated responsible behavior lately. Yes, we trust you. Remember the rule: No passengers going or coming." "OK, Dad. Thank you," said Jerry. It had been a long process with Jerry. But on the whole, he had earned this privilege.

Brazelton says, "If we're to revive a sense of responsibility in our children, we must start early. I suggest that working parents save up as much energy as possible for coming home....Then gather them up in your arms and cuddle together on the sofa....Later on, they can help with the cleanup. They also should have some regular chores that contribute to the running of the household. Giving them an important role lets them be part of the give and take of a family, instead of just take. It also allows them to have the joy of experiencing their own effectiveness." Ibid.

Gratitude: "Lannie, what good things happened to you today at school?" That's helpful table talk. It puts a positive mold on the family atmosphere. Reflecting on happy things is a good habit. Negative talk puts a shadow on the family. Put a "thankful" philosophy into action by suggesting a Teacher-appreciation Day. "Lois, you have lots of friends in your classroom. What would you think about buying an appreciation card for your teacher and then planning a surprise? I will help you find one. Then you could give it to your teacher as a group." "Oh, thank you, Mom! Let's do it!" said Lois.

"'Thou shalt rejoice in every good thing which the Lord thy God hath given thee.' Thanksgiving and praise should be expressed to God for temporal blessings and for whatever comforts He bestows upon us. God would have every family that He is preparing to inhabit the eternal mansions above give glory to Him for the rich treasures of His grace. Were children, in the home life, educated and trained to be grateful to the Giver of all good things, we would see an element of heavenly grace manifest in our families." Child Guidance, p. 148.