A distraught father came to Dayle Shockley, a high-school teacher for advice. "My teenage son gets in my face, yelling, and screaming at me. He has no respect for his parents. What shall I do?"

The next day she brought the father's predicament to her class. "What's your advise to parents? Write it on a sheet of paper and hand it in." The following is a sampling of their responses. You will be surprised at their answers.

"Don't allow your child to bring company into the house, unless you know them personally" (16-year-old African-American female).

"Don't let your small kids watch a lot of TV. If you do, they will adopt the bad attitudes seen on TV and end up not respecting you" (17-year-old Asian-American female).

"Teach your children about God. Try to raise them according to the principles found in the Bible" (17-year-old white male).

"When trying to talk to your children about private subjects like sex, just sensitively say it. If you beat around the bush, it makes you both nervous" (15-year-old Hispanic male).

"Look for things that are good about your children instead of constantly finding ways to put them down" (13-year-old ethnic Hawaiian male).

"Be consistent in what you say; follow through with your decision" (15-year-old white female).

"When you let your children go out, give them a curfew. Let them know you love them and want them to be safe" (16-year-old Hispanic female).

"Play with your kids. Have fun and laugh" (15-year-old white female).

"Fathers, tell your daughter you love her often. If you don't, she will go out looking for love in boys or friends, but she will never find the kind of love she wants" (15-year-old Hispanic female).

"Teach kids to take care of their things and to look out for their siblings" (15-year-old African-American male).

"Accept the fact that adults are not always right. If you're wrong, admit it" (15-year-old Asian-American female).

"Don't put too much pressure on your kids to excel. Understand they are young and need to enjoy life" (14-year-old Asian-American female).

"Teach your children that a true friend will understand that when you say no, you mean no" (15-year-old white female).

"Guide your children toward good marriages by giving them a good example to follow" (15-year-old Hispanic female).

"Sit with your children and just talk. Ask them questions like, 'How was school?' 'Did you make any new friends?'" (16-year-old Hispanic male).

"Praise your children often. When they tell the truth, when they make good grades, when they look nice, praise them" (15-year-old Hispanic female).

"Turn the TV off and talk to your children. You can't carry on a good conversation if you're constantly worried about your show" (16-year-old white female who says her mom knows TV Guide backwards and forwards but has trouble remembering her family's birthdays).

"Get involved in school activities. Acting concerned is not enough; you need to show your concern by getting involved" (15-year-old white female).

"No matter what your children go through, stay by their side. You don't have to agree with them; just always support them" (15-year-old African-American male).

"Be there for teens, even when they try to push you away. The harder they resist, the more they need you" (14-year-old white female).

"Know how to take control. Don't be a pushover" (16-year-old Hispanic female).

"Teach your kids manner, like how a lady sits and how a gentleman opens the door for a lady" (16-year-old white female).

"Teach your children right and wrong and that each action brings either a bad consequence or a reward. When they do right, reward them, and when they do wrong, punish them" (18-year-old Hispanic male).¹

After reading these responses from typical high school students, I said, "The future looks bright."

Bottom Line!

Listen to your kids!

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¹The above advice on parenting from teens was excerpted from Dayle Allen Shockley's article "Hey Mom and Dad..." published in the January 1997 issue of Focus on the Family. Used by permission.