Strong Kids Safe Kids
Keeping Kids Safe from Abuse
Has your child been abused?
You are not alone; there is hope for you.
ñLet the little children come to me, and do not hinder
them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.îæ Luke 18:16, NIV
What is Abuse?
To abuse someone is to intentionally or unconsciously injure or damage
him/her physically, psychologically/emotionally, or sexually with the
purpose to intimidate, dominate, control and or exercise power.æ Abuse
can be isolated or habitual, premeditated or spontaneous.æ The one who
inflicts the abuse is typically called the abuser; the one who
is abused is typically called the victim.
Types of Abuse:
actions which cause humiliation, physical pain or injury, such as kicking,
pushing, or punching.
actions which cause loss of self-esteem, and/or loss of self-determination,
such as name calling, isolation, or criticizing.
actions of sexual nature that are unwelcome, uncomfortable, or forced;
this includes rape.
all of the above definitions, as well as neglect.æ This includes not
providing for a childÍs basic needs such as food and clothing, and abandonment.
Abuse Is Wrong Becauseƒ
It destroys the body
ñKnow ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Sprit of God
dwelleth in you?æ If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy:
for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.îæææ 1 Corinthians
It robs children of their innocence
ñBut whosoever shall offend one of these little ones which believe in
me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck,
and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.îææ Matthew 18:6
It lowers self-esteem
ñDo not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what
is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it might
benefit those who listen.îææ Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
It warps the perception about God
ñBehold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we
should be called the sons [and daughters] of God.îæ 1 John 3:1
It is not GodÍs plan for families
ñƒThe Lord desires His people to give in the their homes a representation
of the order and harmony that pervade the heavenly courts.îææ -Counsels
It is not GodÍs plan for our lives
ñFor I know the plans I have for you,Í declares the Lord, ïplans to prosper
you and not to harm you.æ Plans to give you hope and a future.îææ Jeremiah
Safety Measure For Parents:
- Network with your childrenÍs friends and their parents.
- Explain to children that people who want them to keep secrets
from their parents are not safe to be with.
- Encourage children to tell you if anything frightens or disturbs
- Instruct them to always check with you before accepting any type
of gift from anyone (including money and candy).
- Inform children to always check with parents, or the person in
charge at the time, before going anywhere, even if it is with someone
they know.æ Have them state where they are going, who is going with them
and when they will return.æ Ask for a contact phone number if necessary.
- Teach children how to say ïNoÍ to anyone who tries to touch them
in a way that make them feel uncomfortable.
- Help them to understand that no one should expose or touch
their private parts, ask them to do the same, or force them to handle
- Instruct them never to open the door if they are home alone.
- Show them how to phone emergency personnel.æ Supply them with
a list of other phone numbers to call if they are in trouble (including
- Teach children that there is safety in numbers.
- Question the motives of adults and older children who constantly
want to spend time alone with your children.
- If children prefer to spend a lot of time at neighborÍs/friend/s
home, find out why.
- Screen baby-sitters (male and female) very carefully.
- Teach your child the correct names of body parts so that if necessary
they will be able to communicate clearly about an assault.
If Your Child Has Been Abused:
- Stay calm.
- Respect the childÍs privacy.æ Find a quiet and comfortable place and
carefully listen to what he/she is saying.
- Believe the child and take him/her seriously; children seldom lie about
- Make a report to the authorities.
- Do not confront the abuser yourself.
- Take the child to the doctor for immediate medical attention.
- Let the child know that the abuse was not his/her fault.
- Enlist the support of your WomenÍs, ChildrenÍs, and/or Family Ministries
- Find a licensed therapist who specializes in child abuse.
- Do not make promises you cannot keep.
- Pray with the child and reassure them that Jesus loves them and does
not want them to be hurt.
- Create a safety net around the child which includes your pastor, family
members, and trusted friends; people that will encourage him/her spiritually
and emotionally.æ The child will know that he/she is protected within
this safety net.
These Common Beliefs Are Not True:
- Parents will be able to tell if their child has been sexually abused.
- Children need to be beaten in order to learn to respect their elders.
- Boys cannot be sexually abused.
- Violently shaking a baby will not hurt or kill him/her.
- Playing with a childÍs genitalia is harmless.
- Children are not affected when one parent abuses the other.
- Only strangers molest children.
- Children will quickly outgrow effects of abuse.
- If children walk around naked they are asking to be sexually abused.
- Denying a child food or other basic needs is not considered abuse.
- If a childÍs body reacts to fondling it is because he/she enjoys it.
- Children lie about being abused in order to get adults in trouble.
Abuse Prevention Resources
Alsdurf, J., and Alsdurf, P. (1989).æ Battered into Submission.æ
Downers grove, IL:æ InterVarsity Press.æ 168pp.
Collinson, D. (2001). Encounters With Darkness.æ Hagerstown,
MD:æ Review and Herald Publishin.æ 125 pp.
Couden, B., ed. (1999).æ Understanding Intimate Violence.æ Hagerstown,
MD:æ Review and Herald Publishing Association.æ 160 pp.
Dunbar, M. (2002).æ The Truth About Us:æ How To Discover The Potential
God Has Given You.æ Lincoln, NE:æ AdventSource.æ 150 pp.
Morris, M. (1993).æ Sins of the Father.æ Nampa, ID:æ Pacific
Press Publishing Association.æ 224 pp.
Vanderman, G. (1992).æ The Overcomers.æ Nampa, ID:æ Pacific Press Publishing
Association.æ 96 pp.
White, E. (1996).æ Comfort. Nampa, ID:æ Pacific Press Publishing Association.æ
White, E. (1980).æ The Adventist Home.æ Hagerstown, MD:æ Review and
Herald Publishing.æ 583 pp.
Brochures and Booklets:
Abuse and Family Violenceî æA Global Affliction.æ Available through
GC Family Ministriesƒ
Family Violence:æ A Christian Response. Available through GC Family
How To Believe When Hurt.æ Charles Scriven.æ Produced by Pacific Press
Seventh-day Adventist Statement on Family Violence.æ Produced by the
General Conference of SDA.
Understanding Sexual Abuse.æ Kit Watts, ed.æ Compiled by Review and
What Everyone Should Know About Family Violence.æ Available through
GC WomenÍs Ministries.
When Days Are Dark.æ Gerald Nash.æ Review and Herald Publishing.
Where is God When You hurt?æ Richard Coffen.æ Produced by Pacific Press
Hear Their Cries:æ Religious Responses to Child Abuse.æ Produced
by the Center for the Prevention of Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence,æ
936 North 34th., Suite 200, Seattle, WAæ 98103, USA.æ (206)
634-1903.æ Color.æ Running time 48 minutes. (Also available in Spanish)
Broken Vows:æ Religious Perspectives on Domestic Violence.æ
Produced by the Center For the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence,
936 North 34th., Suite 200, Seattle, WAæ 98103, USA.æ (206)
634-1903.æ Color.æ Running time 59 minutes. (Also available in Spanish)
Wings Like a Dove:æ Healing for the Abused Christian Woman.æ
Produced by the Center For the Prevention of Sexual abuse and Domestic
Violence,æ 936 North 34th., Suite 200, Seattle, WAæ 98103,
USA.æ (206) 634-1903.æ Color.æ Running time 34 minutes.
Too Close to Home.æ Produced by Adventist Media center, South
Pacific Division, 150 Fox Valley Road, Wahroonga, N>S>W> 2076,
Australis, for the trans-Tasman Union Conference of SDA.æ Color.æ 34
minutes. (Available in PAL format)
Peace and Healing, Making Homes Abuse-free.æ
Prepared by Karen & Ron Flowers with Audray Johnson, and Elaine
and Willie Oliver, NADæ Church Resources, AdventSource 5040 Prescott
Avenue Lincoln, NWæ 68506æ 1800-328-0525, 1996.æ Video included.æ Available
in PAL and NST format.æ (Also available in French and Spanish)
Adventist Support Line
New Zealand:æ 0-800-442-458
Michigan, USAæ (616) 687-9822
Nebraska, USAæ 1-800-328-0525
Domestic Violence Hotline
New York, USSA 1-800-621-4673
Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence:æ
2400 N 45th Street, Suite 10, Seattle, WA 98103, USA
Phone: (206) 634-1903æ Fax:æ (206) 634-0115 (24 hours)
Hope For Healing: information on abuse, links and steps to healing
Human Rights in Subsaharan Africa:æ offers information on human
rights and abuse in all African countries
Safe Horizons: offers resources on domestic violence for South
America, Mexico, Europe, South Asia, Canada, and the US
The Stalking Assistance Site
Love Takes Time Resource Page