I’ve been dating a man for four months and we are getting serious. Could you give me a few warning signs that could cause problems in our marriage?

Signed,
Anxious

Dear Anxious,

Here are a few warning signs that we have observed. The more characteristics that are true, the higher the potential for marital problems.

1. The couple meets or marries shortly after a significant loss.
2. The wish to distance from one’s family-of-origin is a factor in the marriage.
3. The family backgrounds of each spouse are significantly different (religion, education, social class, ethnicity, age of the partners).
4. The couple resides either extremely close to or at a great distance from the family-of-origin.
5. The couple is dependant on either extended family financially or emotionally.
6. The couple marries before age 20.
7. The couple marries after an acquaintanceship of less than six months or after more than three years of engagement.
8. The wedding occurs without family or friends present.
9. The wife becomes pregnant before marriage or within the first year of marriage.
10. Either spouse considers his or her childhood or adolescence an unhappy time.
11. Either spouse has a poor relationship with siblings or parents.
12. Marital partners in either extended family were unstable.