Pornography... the "Secret" Sin

by Al Faatz, Dayspring Ministries, Inc.

Experts say 39% of Christian men are sexually addicted.

"God help me! I don't want to do this. I'm sorry God, please forgive me. I'll never do it again!" Over and over, the cycle of sin-confess, sin-confess repeated itself. Where was this young associate pastor to go with his "secret" sin? If he went to his senior pastor, he'd surely lose his job. If he told his wife, he'd probably lose his marriage and two beautiful children. He was in his own private "hell."

This secret sin grows from seeds planted in childhood. 98% of boys are exposed to pornography by age 11 (the biggest users of pornography are young men ages 12-17). The disease grows worse and if untreated, its victims will die. It has existed since the beginning of time, yet has been misnamed, mistreated, ignored and undiagnosed for centuries. Only recently has this secret sin been named and treatment offered to its victims.

Christians are not exempt. Experts say that 39% of Christian men are sexually addicted. Promise Keeper surveys show as many as 50% regularly struggle with lust. According to a recent report, 7% of pastors and 15.5% of Christian married men use pornography regularly, 61% of Christian married men masturbate in secret and 59% fantasize about a sexual partner other than their own wife. It is estimated that 20% of Internet usage is for "computer porn". Americans spend 20 billion dollars annually on pornography in it's many forms and there are more outlets for hard-core pornography in this country than McDonald's food stores! Good Christian man, where are you spending your time and money?

Some say that hard-core porn is damaging but there's no harm in viewing a Sports Illustrated calendar (soft-core). The truth is, pornography starts with a "seed" - viewing the picture. As the seed grows, you become hooked and it eventually becomes a "cancer" that you cannot control. Here's how it grows:

1) We repeatedly return to the material for sexual excitement.

2) We escalate to more explicit material to achieve the same level of sexual stimulation.

3) We become desensitized, and in time this material becomes acceptable and even desirable.

4) We are no longer satisfied with pictures, we need to act out the sexual activities with a live person.

What happened? When did we cross the line? Do we even know that we are addicted? Sexual addiction is progressive. The seed grows until it consumes us physically, emotionally and spiritually. Symptoms are isolation, lying, compulsive behaviors, lack of conscience, emotional numbness, fear, and anger. We need healing in all three areas of our lives:

PHYSICAL Because we're hooked on our own internal drugs of adrenaline, peptides and endorphins, recovery usually requires the help of a counselor who specializes in addictions.

EMOTIONAL Emotional intimacy, the addicts greatest need is also his greatest problem. Because he can't handle the rejection he fears from a real person, he opts for the beautiful woman in the magazine, who is always smiling, ready and willing. The pornography, fantasy and accompanying masturbation alters his mood and covers his pain. He feels good, but this is a "False Intimacy". Recovery involves addressing the brokenness that led to the bondage.

SPIRITUAL At the root of all addiction is the search to fill a spiritual void. We want to serve God, but the shame of our secret sin keeps us from God's love and acceptance, and freedom from our bondage. God must be a major part of the healing.

Christian brother! If we've been talking about you, here are six steps towards freedom:

1) GET HONEST First, with yourself, then God. This means no more denial.

2) CONFESS You will start healing once you tell at least one other person.

3) FIND SUPPORT You cannot do this on your own. Find a recovery program that incorporates support, education and accountability.

4) ALLOW TIME If you're serious, you will want to commit at least one year. Your healing is not an event, it is a process. Your choices from this point forward will determine how long your process takes.

5) INVOLVE MATE If you're married, your wife needs to be part of the process - not to do your work, but to get the support she needs to heal.

6) DO IT NOW Don't procrastinate! Still not sure if you're "hooked"? Call 244-4350 with just your first name and address for a free "self-test."

There is hope...help...and healing! If the church (the body of Christ), will become "Jesus with skin on" and unconditionally accept these wounded sojourners as Christ does, they can heal.

God created that young pastor mentioned earlier as a sexual being. God did not make a mistake, but Satan has created a counterfeit for every beautiful thing God has made. That young man believed Satan's lies and became hooked on pornography. I was that young pastor. I struggled as a schizophrenic Christian through twenty years of pastoral ministry, but God didn't give up on me! I'm here today as an example of God's grace and healing. God is ready to heal you, too! Are you ready?

Al Faatz, Dayspring Recovery (click on highlighted link for more information)
Dayspring Recovery
7000 SW Hampton St Suite 101
Portland OR 97223
(503) 244-4350