Lives Changed, Voices Unleashed

Does abortion hurt men and women?

As I reflect back on the past 4 years as the HEART Director (Healing Encouragement for Abortion-Related Trauma) a 14-week Bible study support group for women and Healing A Father’s Heart Bible study for men, I am still in awe at God’s mercy and power to heal. Not only does He have the power to heal but He wants to heal. That is mercy. How He takes a particular sin in our life and transforms and renews us. Perhaps it’s the most amazing thing!

The question is still asked, “Does abortion hurt men & women?”

For many, the answer is yes. Some individuals do not realize it until years later.

Deborah called my office, she wanted to volunteer at Pregnancy Resource Centers and because she had an abortion in her past, she was required to go through HEART first. She was a willing participant.

I had the pleasure of being Deborah’s leader. Deborah grew up in an abusive home, parents divorced when she was young. Her mother encouraged her children to get the drugs from her so that she knew they were “ok.” Because Deborah had no structure or moral guidelines she began abusing alcohol and drugs. She believes her sexual abuse at a young age set her on a path of sexual promiscuity. To her, sex equaled love and acceptance. “That is how you get the love you want” she stated. Or so she thought. Her “sex, drugs, and rock & roll” lifestyle led to her unplanned pregnancy. “I did not have a close relationship with my mother and I feared I would end up like her.” All odds seemed stacked up against her so she chose abortion. She figured that was the “quick fix” and that life would go back to “normal” after the abortion.

But they didn’t. After the abortion Deborah fell into a deep depression and her alcohol, drugs, and promiscuity increased. “I did everything to numb the pain.”

Eventually Deborah accepted Jesus as her personal savior. He began to do a work on her heart and change her life. She married a wonderful Christian man who was very supportive of her attending HEART.

Still Deborah came to group with a heavy heart filled with shame, guilt, depression, secrecy and grief. The area in which Deborah struggled most was accepting God’s forgiveness and forgiving herself. She knew what scripture said about forgiveness and yet she somehow couldn’t accept it for herself.

As Deborah processed all her grief, anger, guilt, shame, etc… she began to see herself as God saw her. He created her unique and she was special to Him. She was a child of the living God and He loved her. She began to accept His forgiveness and walked in the freedom of this truth.

Her husband even said to me how thankful he was to the Lord for this ministry as it has not only changed his wife but it changed their marriage relationship. They are closer than ever.

HEART changed my life and now, sitting on the other side of the table and watching lives transformed right before my eyes is a gift from the Lord.

As these men and women are healed from their past they can’t help but to share their experience of healing.

There is a national organization that has been formed called, “Silent No More” and this group of women gather together and share their stories. We are saying, “We are Silent No More about the devastation that abortion has caused in our lives.” So… Does Abortion Hurt Men & Women? For many, Yes.

However, we have an awesome God who turns our wailing into dancing. So, we can be Silent No More.

If you would like more information about HEART/Healing A Father’s Heart Bible studies, please contact our confidential voice mail at 503-22-HEART.

For more information, visit the Love Takes Time Resources page.