The Pornography Addiction

Where can you go with such a personally humiliating, sensitive problem?

"The Internet is as persistent as it is potent, an indelible and uncontainable presence in the culture. In fact, the Internet isn't separate from the culture at all; it is the culture. All the trash, flotsam, and spillage of our society gets its moments there, and the tiniest obsession has its spot on the shelf, right next to Bach and charity and sunsets. The Internet lets a million flowers bloom, and a million weeds."1

ONLINE PORN HAS TURNED INTO ONE OF THE most profitable areas of e-commerce. Estimates of annual revenues run to billions of dollars. The number of people who visit sex sites each day has been estimated at 60 million. Together, the top five sex sites have more Internet visitors than MSNBC.com and CNN.com combined.2 All of these sites are available to your kids every minute of their lives. And they are simple to find, only seconds away.

Internet porn is so large that it is probably accurate to say that it is here to stay; it will likely never be blocked. Every day approximately 400 new pornographic Web sites open on the Internet from locations such as Thailand and Russia.3

In the United States an estimated 10 million children go online every day. Many are eager to make "e-friends" with whom they can chat. In a recent study of nearly 1,500 children ages 10-17, it was found that one in four had an unwanted exposure to some kind of image of naked people or people performing sexual acts. One in 33 received an aggressive solicitation, meaning that some person on the Internet asked them to meet or phone, or sent them regular mail, money, or gifts.4

If you aren't convinced that porn is a problem, keep an eye on your local newspaper. Newspapers commonly report incidents in which individuals such as the Harvard University Divinity School dean, a Disney Internet executive, many college professors, schoolteachers, and other once-reputable citizens around the country are "busted" for viewing Internet porn sites.5

In "Pornography, Main Street to Wall Street," H. W. Jenkins reports that Dr. Mark Lasher, a cofounder of the Christian Alliance for Sexual Recovery (and himself a recovering sex addict), had this to say at a congressional hearing last year: "Many in the medical community feel that for a substance to be addictive it must create a chemical tolerance. Alcoholics know, for example, that over the lifetime of their addiction, they must consume more and more alcohol to achieve the same effect. New research, such as by Drs. Harvey Milkman and Stan Sunderwirth, has demonstrated that sexual fantasy and activity, because of naturally produced brain chemicals, has the ability to create brain tolerance to sex. I have treated over a thousand male and female addicts. Almost all of them began with pornography."6

Jenkins goes on to report: "The Internet makes porn imagery even more easily available, and in virtually limitless variety. It would be a miracle if kids weren't finding this stuff, even if it means going around the 'filters' provided by their parents or their Internet service providers. . . . If exposure builds up tolerance, and tolerance makes the problem worse, having unlimited porn imagery within easy reach of every computer is likely to produce social effects that we haven't yet reckoned with."

David's Story

One problem that David's mom hasn't faced yet is Internet pornography and whether or not David is spending time surfing through the many sites on the Internet where there are graphic images of people having sex. Janet, David's mom, hasn't thought about it much, though she has heard about it from time to time. She has certainly heard of people losing their jobs because of it.

David's relationship with his mom is great. It's good enough so that he can talk to her about most of the challenges that he faces from day to day-including drugs and sex. But is it good enough to talk about pornography? If David had a problem with porn, could he say "Hey, Mom, I need to talk to you about something that's bothering me". Would he be too embarrassed? There is an excellent likelihood that he would hide the problem.

Let's go a step further. If your neighbor had a problem with Internet pornography, do you think he or she would come to you for help? How about your spouse? How about you? Could you even muster the courage to take it to the Lord in prayer?

Where do you go when you have a problem so sensitive, personally humiliating, and degrading as the use of pornography? Is there anyone within our organization who would be willing to listen without criticizing or, more important, without gossiping about it? A church member with a pornography addiction would make for great behind-the-back chatter.

David's mom couldn't believe what she had discovered-a 12-year-old boy and pornography? The next day after work Janet asked her daughter, Beth, if she had ever seen sex on the Internet.

"Sure," Beth answered.

Janet froze. "How did that happen?"

Beth's story was similar to the one Janet had read about in the newspaper. "I was in the computer lab at school, looking for information on cancer. I had a report due and was just looking around to see what I could find on the topic. While I was surfing the Internet it seemed as though I came across more pictures of people having sex than information on cancer."

Beth's mom asked her to go to the computer and show her how it happened. She skipped over to the computer, clicked the mouse a couple of times, looked up at her mom, and said "OK, what do you want me to do?"
With her arms crossed Janet said, "You told me that you know how to find dirty pictures on the Internet, and since I am from Missouri, show me! I don't believe it."

Beth shrugged her shoulders and said, "Mom, anyone can do it. It's simple." Beth quickly typed a few words on her computer, and Bingo! One window after another started popping up even though Beth's fingers weren't on the mouse or the keyboard. Automatically picture after picture appeared.

"Turn it off!, I don't want to see that stuff," said Janet. Beth did and swung around in her chair to face her mom.
Janet asked Beth if she often went onto the Internet looking for people having sex. "Mom, I never do it. You asked me to show you, and I did," Beth scolded.

"Well, how did you do it?" asked Janet.

"Look, Mom," Beth explained, "just type in a word and hit the Enter key."

It's just that simple. Our kids, our spouses, our employees, our kids' teachers-all of us who have computers with Internet access have available to us so many different Web sites that contain sexual content. A person could spend 24 hours per day and probably not visit all of them in a year.

David's mom just had to know if he was accessing Internet porn sites. For some reason she didn't have the courage to ask him directly, although she had noted that he spent a lot of time in his room with the door closed while surfing the Internet. She hadn't thought about porn until the experience with Beth.

One afternoon she asked Beth if there was any way to know whether someone has been looking at porn sites on the computer. Beth said, "Sure, nothing to it," and proceeded to show her how to do it.

After learning how to look around on David's computer to see what sites he had been visiting on the Internet, his mom went to his room one evening when he was gone. She did the things that Beth had taught her to do and to her horror she learned that David had visited hundreds of different Internet sex sites. It took days for her to collect enough courage to talk to him about it, but eventually she did. David admitted it. He assured her that it wasn't a problem. She asked him not to do it anymore, and he assured her that he wouldn't.

The story isn't over for David. Whether he will visit more porn sites or not is a question that won't be answered until his mother commits to monitoring his Internet activities. Whether the exposure that he has already had to pornography will turn into a problem 10, 20, or 40 years later in life is left to speculation. He has seen the images, and they will stay with him for life.

The Scope of the Problem

Pornographic Internet access is so extensive that it should shake you thoroughly. A survey by Media Matrix, Inc., an American Internet audience analysis company, found that in homes with Internet access the following percentage of time was spent on pornographic sites during December 20007:

Canada	33
Australia	33
U.S.	31
Germany	29
France	25
Britain	25
Japan	21

If our description of porn on the Internet seems wild, it isn't. This is serious business, and we must come to terms with it immediately. Leaving children with unsupervised computer access may be as dangerous as expecting them to live inside an adult bookstore without looking around. To put it another way, would you go to the local adult bookstore and purchase 100 pornographic videos and another 500 pornographic magazines, put them on the bookshelf in your kid's bedroom, and ask them not to look at them? Of course you wouldn't. So should you do that with the Internet?

If your kids have computers with access to the Internet, learn how to supervise their Internet activities. If you don't know how to run a computer, then learn. Ask a friend to show you how to monitor Internet activities. Talk to your kids. Plan what you will do. If you suspect that there is a problem with your spouse, ask him or her. Not critically, but lovingly. Ask if the two of you together can get help for this critical problem.

It's a tough issue for husbands or wives whose spouses are hooked on porn. This sort of activity often results in the loss of employment. What can they do? Where does a church member go for help? Think about it very seriously. Pornography is available to everyone, even the clergy. It is treacherous ground. Research shows that the effects of porn are mixed.

A recent study reported research conducted on young women ages 14-18. It examined pornographic exposure and subsequent behaviors and behavioral consequences. Of those studied, 29.7 percent had viewed X-rated movies, and this was associated with an increased risk of having multiple sexual partners, more frequent sex, less use of contraception, a strong desire to conceive, and even a higher rate of a sexually transmitted in-fection.8

Once you, your spouse, or anyone successfully overcomes an Internet sexual addiction, consider that they still have to go back to their computer to work. How do you sit down and complete work on the very instrument through which you know you again have unlimited access to the thing that nearly ruined you? It's like sentencing an alcoholic to work in a liquor store.

A Call to Action

The problem of pornography is not only about them; it includes us. Recent research conducted on a Christian sample revealed that 36 had visited sexually explicit Web sites; almost half had visited them either weekly - or a couple of times per month. Only half were aware that their spouses knew that they were accessing these sites.
Pastors need to be trained regarding the dangers of pornography and sexual addiction. It's important to address the topic from the pulpit. We need small group sessions in which prayers of intercession are made to the Lord. We need to provide specific training for Christian counselors in our universities and colleges. We need to locate the resources to provide members, non-members, and even clergy with a hot line they can call to ask questions with absolute anonymity and get assistance. We also need to conduct research in this area among both our members and clergy to understand better the extent of the problem and learn the approaches that have been found to be effective.

Regarding your young people, the fundamental responsibility to protect children from online sexual advances falls on parents. Seventy percent of sexual advances over the Internet occur on home computers.9

Such an infection threatens the body of our church, and it needs immediate treatment.

Gary L. Hopkins is assistant director of the General Conference Health Department and director of the Institute for Prevention of Addictions at Andrews University. E-mail: ghopkins@andrews.edu.

Joyce W. Hopp, is dean of the School of Allied Health Professions at Loma Linda University, Loma Linda, California. E-mail: Joycehopp@sahp.llu.edu.