Friendly Fire

A few months ago we went through another International Conflict. We hesitated to call it war, but when ships lift anchors and submarines lower conning towers, and bomb laden jets lift into the skies and military personnel march and cannons roar, it is war in all it's ugliness.

In every international conflict, sooner or later, the media assails us with the tragic news of "Friendly Fire" and we know instinctively that unnecessary deaths have happened again. Someone miscalculated, someone misinterpreted, someone neglected to send the right message, someone's timing was off, and men and women died needlessly on a far away battlefield, killed by a "friend." It happened twice at least that I can recall, in the last year. Once in far away war torn Afghanistan, and again near the place once known in antiquity as The Garden of Eden, but now known as Iraq.

Once it was our own servicemen shooting at our own servicemen, and once when our servicemen shot and killed some of our wonderful Canadian neighbors and friends. How we hurt when those things happen. How we wish it was a scene in a play, or a set in a movie stage that went awry and we want to delete it, redo it and make it better next time.

But alas, the triggers have been pulled, the bomb bays have been opened, and the missiles have been deployed and it's all over but the hurting and the dying. We send out our ambassadors and apologies as nations do to nations and somehow it gets glossed over and we move on. But not so in the church and in the home and in the work place. There is a dearth of ambassadors in those places and a plethora of injuries from a different kind of "Friendly Fire."

Yesterday in talking with one of my sisters-in-law, I learned that because she had chosen to return to my brother after a broken marriage brought on by booze and bumblings, all her own children have imbedded her in ice. Oh no, not real ice, but her cold shoulders and frozen heart can never be warmed by jackets or sweaters or even by electric blankets. I heard her tears hundreds of miles away. Only kind words and forgiving arms will comfort her hurting heart. "Friendly fire indeed"!

In our wonderful, close knit Seventh-day Adventist Denomination, we have whole churches whose congregations are clustered closely together in cities but are separated by unforgiven words and feelings. Wrongful words and acts committed generations ago lay splattered across the landscape of time and today they will not enter each other's doors. Friendly Fire.

How often as a Pastor, or a Departmental Director or a Conference President have I been called upon to settle a dispute between parents and children, husbands and wives, pastors and pastors and on one occasion, two local conferences where the rifts and words and acts had all the ear marks of "Friendly Fire." Missed signals, misinterpreted messages, unforgiving spirits that carry all the impact of bullets and bombs. The injuries and the pain, and yes, the death. It happens all too often. There is no funeral, no burial, no memorial, but the death of once cherished relationships is cold and dead and gone.

Recent and current history reminds us of countless physical deaths brought about because a brother or a sister of the Seventh-day Adventist Church was a member of a different tribe, a different nationality, a different caste, a different color. How I remember an article written by former General Conference President, Elder Robert Folkenberg entitled, "What Are You First?" In his article he pointed out that if we are not Christians first, then our race, our color, our tribe, our nationality, our profession, our position in the church or denomination became first and everything else is second or even lower on the proverbial totem pole. When that happens, all too often there is "Friendly Fire" and someone gets wounded in heart and soul. The legions of former members around the world attest to the veracity of my statement. Could we but reclaim and recall our walking wounded, our membership would soar into the millions?

How do we launch the weapons of hurt? In so many ways. Recently I attended the funeral of a warrior for God. He was a much loved brother even in his declining years. He was warm, friendly, talented. But he died. At his Memorial Service, a brother stood up and told in graphic detail a mistake the brother had made many years ago. An estranged daughter came to attend her father's Memorial. She sat there, horrified, embarrassed, infuriated at such needless and pointless audacity. Did she get up and walk out? She did. Was she angry? She was. Will she ever come back? She won't. Can you blame her? You can't. "Friendly Fire." Brothers shooting at brothers.

Our arsenal would pass the careful scrutiny of any team of inspectors with all their electronic surveillance capabilities. They are so innocent looking. They, on surface seem so harmless. They are such things as "cold shoulders," or smile-less stares that look at you but don't see you. They are dish rag handshakes; they are put on, mechanized friendship gestures in church, "everybody stand and shake hands with your neighbor," they are shunnings, they are frozen smiles, they are unreturned phone calls, unanswered letters and emails. The list is endless, and the walking wounded limp through life with injuries that are not healed by pharmaceutical products.

What a difference a loving, friendly smile would make; a handshake; an invitation to Sabbath dinner; an opportunity to play Saturday night games together. Apologies, initiated letters and phone calls could bring healing and help to a soul in the emergency room of spiritual and relational injuries. That list of opportunities and possibilities is also limited only by our desire to find a salve that would bring healing to a victim of friendly fire.

Does it not say in ll Chronicles 7:14. " If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, and forgive their sin, and will heal their land." And did not Solomon write, " A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle." And didn't Paul advise us to "let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love " Romans 12:9,10

I don't mean to beat you over the head with scripture. I don't mean to scold you. I don't mean to put you down. I just mean to lift you up. I just mean to shake your hand and touch your heart, and warm your soul. We are in the land of the enemy. Lets just be careful that the enemy isn't us. "Friendly Fire." Its not all in Afghanistan or Iraq.